ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i was born a porn star she said
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
