I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm sobbing to NWA
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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