ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
