Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
