You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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