Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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