and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Congratulations! We have a period
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