I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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