so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
