True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Can you bring me the toilet please
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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