ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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