So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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