If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
