First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
