Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
