That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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