Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
