so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
