I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
