I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
