nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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