So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
