God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
