So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize