I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
