problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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