Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
