Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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