What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize