Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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