i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
