Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
