finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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