Welp...herpes.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize