It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
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Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
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I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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