i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
