WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
