4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
