Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
