whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
