i just had sex bonerless
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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