broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
