Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
