So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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