Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
