Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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