I wish I only lived at night.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Randomize