Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
