Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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