She's JV to your varsity
Just fell off a train. Bad.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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