we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
