This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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