You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
