Porn is love you can see.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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