Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
