I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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