Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
