Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
