There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Drunk is not a location!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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