No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
